Hum drum!

   Wow, I haven't even had a chance to look at this thing since last year!  I figured I'd better at least nod in the direction of my blog and keep it up-to-date at least once in a while!! 
   So, lets see:  The baby is almost two years old, now!  I can't believe time has just flown by so fast but she's a slow grower (like me!) so she's still little enough to be "my baby".  The older kid is a full-blown teenager now and there is no question about that.  Lord, but she's outgrown me!

   I'm still running...  And running, and running.  Can't seem to lose any weight, but whatever.  I'm a self proclaimed Forrest Gump (in regard to running), so I've just decided to be comfortable with my health outweighing my outweighing!
   We're creeeeping up on the end of the final quarter of the first year of nursing school.  I'd agonized quite a bit about not being able to go during summer quarter but I'm getting more comfortable with that now, and I can't wait to get all domestic again and fill up all the jars in the cupboard with deliciousness!!  Let me tell ya, nursing school is incredibly challenging and it'll be nice to take a break.
 
   Looking at my old blog posts takes me back to when I started writing (all 4 posts ago).  This was during a time when I was frustrated and feeling generally short-changed in a lot of ways.  I don't want to get specific...  Those of you who know me and my family will know the juicy details; but I want to throw this out there:  Freeing myself from the bondage of feeling like I'm a captive...  Somehow trapped by my past and a prisoner of circumstances that I'm not even closely tied to anymore; this is so liberating.  I feel like in the course of the last year I've somehow been washed of the responsibility (or assumed responsibilities) that I was never really accountable to.  I felt as though I somehow was indebted to people that quite frankly don't really want me in their lives. 
  Knowing that, saying that, and really honestly accepting and owning it are separate issues all together.  The bottom line is this:  My life comes down to my accountability to the four people that live between the same 4 walls I do.  Everything else is secondary because anyone else can make you expendable in a heartbeat.  Does that sound cynical?  It's not meant to.  I have family and friends that are very important to me, but it's my immediate family that I'm accountable to.  Every day I feel like I understand a little better exactly the type of parent, friend, sibling, and wife I want to be.